– How the little things erode the foundation of your relationship.
Your ADHD Partner is often oblivious to the dozens of times in a day that they forget to do things, break their promises, arrive or leave late, are messy and just think that saying “I’m Sorry” is somehow going to be make everything O.K.
What the person with ADHD fails to realize is that it’s not the big stuff that usually destroys ADHD relationships; ADHD folks don’t typically plan ahead well enough to master mine such things.
Instead what happens is that it’s the small stuff that happens all the time for a long time that is the real enemy to a happy and loving ADHD Relationship.
What really destroys a ADHD relationship is a series of “mini-micro betrayals” that happen dozens of time in a single day — that in the moment seem like no big deal. Nothing could be further from the truth!
The little things start to add up and while no single act is that big of a deal, when they start adding up and multiplying – Watch Out!
Added up over time, these little things start to feel more like termites that are ferociously eating away at the foundation of the relationship.
What’s left is a relationship whose foundation is filled with holes, destroyed one bite at a time. This leaves the NON-ADHD partner feeling like “Hey – if they can’t trust my ADHD partner to deliver on the small stuff how in the world could I ever count upon them for the big stuff”
The inability to depend on your partner creates distance, resentment and eventually the relationship blows up or collapses. Meanwhile the partner with ADHD is thinking that everything is totally “fine” and is stunned when their ADHD partner has finally had enough!
Remember in ADHD relationships the “small stuff” or daily micro-betrayals really do have an enormous impact on the sustainability of your relationship.
Learn to say yes only when you can follow through right then. If you must commit to doing something in the future, make sure that you get clear about the expectations and create a reminder for yourself so that you don’t find yourself saying “I’m Sorry” yet again.