ADHD can seem like the enemy of Intimacy. Even though almost every couple experiences problems in this area from time to time, it is true that ADHD presents particular challenges to sexual intimacy. If you or your partner are living with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), and you’re having troubles with sexual intimacy, it can be very easy to blame all of those troubles on yourself, your partner; never realizing that under managed symptoms of ADHD play a big part on a couples intimate life.
For this reason, one of the most important things we want you to remember is that maintaining sexual intimacy and keeping the “spark” in our relationships is a challenge for practically everyone. If you’re a couple with ADHD then you know that there are a number of challenges to face, some of which are not always easy to understand. Remember ADHD doesn’t just affect your conversations with strangers; it can also cause problems in the bedroom.
Whether or not one or both partners in a couple has ADHD, we all face the same challenges of time management, balancing our work and our lives, interruptions with children, and the multitude of other little things that can make it feel much easier to just turn over and turn out the lights instead of finding the time and the energy to enjoy each other. The longer a relationship lasts, the easier it is to get into the kind of habit patterns that make enjoying our sexuality a real challenge.
In other words – if you or your partner have ADHD and you’re having trouble enjoying sexual intimacy, you’re not alone. You also aren’t unique when it comes to people who live with ADHD. Despite the fact that only roughly 8% of the adult population of the US has ADHD, just Google “ADHD and ‘Sexual Intimacy’” and you’ll see over 69,000 web pages devoted to this topic.
This can be particularly true with long-term relationships. If you think of the kinds of common things that make intimacy difficult for “typical” couples, you’ll find that some of these same challenges are often just more heightened when one or both members of a couple are living with ADHD.
In addition there are other very real challenges that are particular to people with ADHD and their partners. These issues include losing focus during lovemaking, heightened distractibility for unrelated stimuli, blurting out “non-sexy” comments, as well as a host of sensitivity issues unique to people with ADHD.
So if your feeling like your intimate life together as a couple is less than what you would wish for then know that your not unlike many couples where ADHD is a factor.
The good news is that sexual activity for increases a host of really critical chemical messengers in the brain that are particularly helpful for people with ADHD. You might say that a dose of healthy sexual intimacy is “exactly what the doctor ordered” or at least that is what some leading ADHD psychiatrists and experts like Dr. Richard Ferman suggest.
With a little insight, honesty and a healthy dose of open mindedness chased with a shot of humor, couples with ADHD can overcome many of the challenges faced in the bedroom.